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Swim or Drift


Have you ever been in a stream or some sort of running water? The currents and direction of the water are constantly pushing against your boat, forcing you to move. You have 2 choices: Either put effort into swimming against the current or drift down stream, you’re never just sitting still. The only time you burn energy is when you are moving forward because it takes intentional time and effort to do so, drifting takes no effort or energy.

Like a boat in a stream our marriages are either moving forward towards health or drifting into dysfunction. There is no such thing as sitting still. Many times couples will live under the illusion that they are neither healthy nor dysfunctional because there are no major issues present. In reality if there is no intentional effort for growth, you’ll find yourself in dysfunction without a clue as to how you got there.

The truth of the matter is all of us are prone to drifting because we are all frail, inconsistent, and sinful. To often-married people have learned to only pursue occasional growth in the forms of annual conferences, books, and short marriage classes. These things are very inconsistent and provide only a short-term fix to a systemic problem, our marriages are prone to drifting. Why? We have drifting hearts that are in constant need of truth and reminders to help us move forward. If you’re a Christian God has given us 3 things as reminders to keep us moving forward, the Bible, His Spirit, and other Christians.

Often times Christians are ok with the first 2 as reminder but Community is out of the question. Having others as reminders is usually an issue because of fear or we feel there is no time. The truth is with out other people reminding us of what’s true in a humble way; we will drift more often than not. God made us to pursue Him with enthusiasm and also pursue our spouse. The way we pursue these 2 relationships will impact every area of our lives. Because of this epidemic in marriage in 2008 we started Build a Better Us. We wanted to make groups available for marrieds no matter if they were engaged, new, seasoned, or in crisis.

Build a Better us exist to equip married couples to pursue their spouse with the same enthusiasm that they did when they we dating & engaged. As they pursue Jesus in a small group community. So that there can be consistency in the most important areas of our lives.

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